Homosexuality is caused by poor fatherly skills

I'm sure we have heard that homosexuality is caused by the neglect of either one or both parents of their child. And there was that old accusation that males become homosexuals because they spend too much time with their mothers therefore they would turn girly, think like one and become homosexuals.

This is actually an incomplete hypothesis.

One of the main causes of homosexuality is caused by the neglect of a young child's social ability to connect with people since young, specifically the gender of his own. And when the child gets older, his suppressed needs to connect with people in order to remove his feelings of loneliness and mental isolation would spur into ways in which to express his suppressed feelings and he would seek ways to connect with people, mentally or physically.

If a young child is neglected from either of his parents since young, he would miss out on the early years of connecting with the closest people to him. He would miss out on the opportunities to closely connect mentally with the female or male gender people that are closest to him.

We have heard of many kids whose parent or both parents are both busy working and have no time for them. Sometimes it is only the female maid that is around the child most of the time. This situation would present a problem.

Even though the young child may have siblings or have the chance to interact with other children such as cousins or kids at nurseries, the adults who have the maturity and trained social skills to interact with the child are usually the females. There is a great absence of adult males who could interact with the young child and familiarise him with the adult male identity through male-to-male interactions.

So throughout the child's early years, he would experience deficient interactions with the adult males.

Now that answers how the Sensitive New Age Guy(SNAG) could possibly come into being.

Male children who experience deficient opportunities to bond with male adults may later have their supressed needs turn into curiosity of the same gender, which may lead them to believe they are homosexuals because they find the male identity very fascinating and relevent to themselves.

The male parent of the child is most responsible and capable of bonding with his child. The other schoolmates that are of the same age as the child at school are still at a very young age and they lack the skills for effective same gender bonding and connection. The male teachers in school are not as close to his male students as a father could be to his son.

So if the father could not impart the skills of same gender bonding with his son, the child would very much be left on his own to learn about the adult male identity. He would be left to depend on his seniors at school to become his brotherly figures to impart skills of same gender bonding to help him learn and develop his own male identity.

But sometimes we find young male adolescents or teenagers to be too busy doing their own thing rather than to impart or learn the skills of connecting with their same genders. They are too busy getting in touch with the latest music or computer games rather than to get in touch mentally with their male peers and the male identity.

So the child may still find himself distant from the adult male identity but his desires to get in touch with it is still present and growing.

If one day he comes across the concept of Homosexuality which seems to him as an effective way of "male bonding" with other males, he may see himself fitting and desiring to be a homosexual without knowing what he is getting himself into.

He may think that connecting to others physically is an effective way to connect with them mentally in order to get in touch with the male identities of others and his own.

So the desiring and seeking remains until one day he finds what he is really looking for, which is the male identity of himself.

We can tell that many homosexuals do not have a very complete adult male identity because they often show signs of childlike behaviour and emotions, their expression of their male identity does not seem very complete and mature.

We have also heard that many homosexuals are afraid or even find it very difficult to disclose their homosexuality to their parents, especially their fathers. This is a sign of either or both side's deficient social skills to connect and communicate with people effectively.

If parents cannot communicate well with their son, how would they be able to teach him the male and female identities?

Actually a homosexual outing himself to his father is actually a way of the son telling his father that he needs to connect with the adult male identity by spending time with other males by being a homosexual.

Of course the father would feel left out, sad, betrayed, guilty and doubts his own male identity and parenting skills because his son chooses to be more intimate with other guys rather than with his old man.

It seems like a very logical cause and effect consequence. Because fathers could not impart their adult male identity to their sons, their sons choose to seek it from other males, through different ways, even through others' pants.

Why people want to have sex

People have sex sometimes to bridge a connection with other people. They do that when they feel distant from people and they want to use physical sex as an effective distraction from their unwanted effects from mental isolation and loneliness.

People who often change sexual partners do so to gain new connections as they get bored after a prolonged relationship with a person. If such people are constantly using sexual connections to connect with others, they are doing so because of a deficient ability to connect with people in non-sexual ways.

Sometimes they don't really judge who their sexual partners are, as long as they are able to have a physical sexual connection. This is prevalent in blind one-night-stands where people have "fast love". People who practises one-night-stands are probably seen as fulfilling their "physical need quota" to connect, they just have the pressing need to connect. This is also often known as lust, sexual desires or sexual libido. They also want new people to connect with as they get easily tired of people's bodies. But it is like treating people's bodies as objects, like new clothes that one wears everyday.

Why do people need to connect mentally or physically with other people?

They do so because it is a nice comforting experience especially with the people that they like. Connecting to people gives one support and strength for survival. It also gives one motivation energy to deal with life's difficulties. It is also a wonderful distraction for unpleasant negative thoughts. Talking to friends or going out with them are good examples of human connections.

Being in love actually means to achieve a mental connection with a person. So it is normal to love people whether they are of the same gender or not.

Loving people is fine but using people's bodies to attempt to connect with them shows signs of problems.

A deficient ability to connect mentally with people will only lead to further problems. If a person cannot connect well with others, it could lead to many misunderstandings and problems.

If a person can connect well mentally with others, there is no need for physical sexual connections. And having sex would be left for the original purpose of procreation.

People who have plenty of sex only reveals a deficient ability to connect mentally with people. They are certaintly not role models to follow.

This is why society often feels that homosexuals who practises sexual promiscuity are not doing the right thing. Gay parties and spas that promotes physical sexual connections are often disapproved for this subconscious reason in people's minds. They feel that it is not right but can't find the reason to explain it.

Homosexuality lies in a connection problem

This is an update of the factors that leads to homosexuality. I will refer from previous blog posts.

A young boy who does not have a good environment that allows him sufficient opportunities to connect and relate to the people around him would not gain the skills to socially relate to people when he grows up.

The young boy with his deficient social skills, would find it uneasy to communicate well with people and make friends. Deficient social skills can be seen in kids who could not connect well with their peers, even though they may talk alot but often talk out of topic. This may cause him to be neglected by his peers.

The young boy's need to connect with people is then suppressed until he grows up much later. His needs to connect with people may then develop into likings and crushes of his favourite peers. Some homosexuals realise their liking for other boys at a young age.

As the boy reaches puberty, his body changes and he could develop intense crushes on boys of his age. He may even develop sexual thoughts and fantasies of his crushes.

But the boy may still experience his deficient ability to communicate and to connect with people. His needs to connect with people may then turn into his sexual fantasies during masturbation in which he imagines close physical connections with his crushes. The boy may feel that it is the only possible way to connect with these people because he is unable to communicate and connect to them in real-life, he may be afraid to approach them to chat and to make friends, due to various reasons that instill nervousness in him.

As the boy grows up into a teenager, his needs to express himself may develop into other areas such as dressing and body language. He may even dye his hair and follow the many habits of his peers such as hanging out in streets and smoking, which does not improve one's social skills but dulls it.

Some homosexual teenagers who hang out with groups of friends may be able to talk fluently and may seem very expressive but very often the topics they talk about cannot be related or relevant to other people. They may be good in self-expression but poor in people-connecting skills. They often talk for the sake of relieving boredom instead of connecting with people. Teenagers who cannot connect well with their parents would often lead to misunderstandings and family quarrels.

Homosexual teenagers feel the great need to connect to another person and to share thoughts and feelings. They may get influenced by the social culture of Homosexuality, and they adopt themselves as homosexuals.

Homosexuals choose the same gender to relate to because they are more similar to themselves than the opposite gender, and therefore easier to connect with. They prefer the same gender as a more effective solace for their daily worries and threats to their Selves.

To be able to love requires one to connect to others with the mind. Homosexuals who are unable to do so due to deficient social skills may use physical sexual connections in order to connect with the person they like. But having a physical connection with another person does not mean he could know and understand the person through such a temporary connection. It takes time and patience to get to know a person well and to develop trust.

Homosexuals may see sexual behaviours as extreme forms of play. But animals who lack efficient ways to communicate with one another use physical body language and touch as a form to connect and communicate.

We see physical world wars where the failure to communicate and understand leads to physical fights. So is sexual behaviour a sign of the failure to communicate, which has to be resolved through touch and motion to release repressed emotions?

How well do people understand homosexuals even though they are so expressive? There is a great communication barrier.

Homosexuals may seem to be very expressive but their erratic emotions and impatience often get in the way in the face of logical reasoning. They often go out of point.

Homosexuals often find attractive people as safe and easily connectable people. But whether they could successfully make friends with them is another matter.

Homosexuals who seek to have long term boyfriends may just want a long term connection with a person. They just want to focus connecting with a person instead of many close friends.

Homosexuals often break up easily with their boyfriends because of the inability to maintain a long-term connection, due to deficient social skills or incompatible personalities. If two people cannot connect properly, there would definately be misunderstandings. It may be easy to connect physically with people but to connect mentally is not a fast and simple process, social skills has to be worked on.

Homosexuals who seek sexual intimacy to connect with other males may simply be using the connection as a temporary escape and relief from unwanted thoughts in their lives. Of course they could also play computer games and do hobbies for hours but I'm sure people are much more interesting, livelier and more interactive than the inanimate and lonely computer.

Searching the seat of a person's soul

Where does a person's "soul" reside in his body?

It is quite unfortunate that many people don't know where to actually find the person within the person. Where do they find the person within his bodily vessel? How is the soul of a person like? How does it show itself to others? How do others see and feel it?

Two guys hang out together as friends. They go out together and spend time together. Do they really know the other person or are they familiar with just their bodily vessels. How would one of the guys describe his other friend? Would his description be based on exterior appearances or by describing character that has shown through close times spent together?

How does he find and feel his friend within the person sitting beside him? And how does he find and know people even though he can see them right before his eyes?

Very often all of us have eyes that we can't use to see. We can often see things but not always know things as they truly are. What is reality and delusions are often separated by a fine imaginary line. Sometimes we misunderstood one for the other.

How does a guy find his other friend's soul?

Does he look in his friend's pocket? From within his eyes which are said to be windows to a person's soul? Or from his smile? From his voice? From his touch? Or from within his pants, the private and restricted zone?

We look to find a person in different ways and in different places. Sometimes people think that the most private and protected place of a person would lie his soul, his innermost character, personality and identity.

People think that it has to be it, where else can a person's soul be hidden except the most private, protected and restricted zone?

Maybe some people think that they can get to know a person if they gain access to a person's private and restricted place, that they can connect and communicate to the person through that private place.

The private areas of a person are most sensitively connected to the brain with their many nerve endings. Gaining access to a person's private areas is to gain access to a place which is well connected to the brain, it does not mean that one would gain access to a person's soul through the place.

A person may even invite another to gain access to his most private and protected part of his body. But the open invitation does not mean certainty in getting to know the person.

Why would a person allow another person to gain access to his private areas of his body? Maybe he sees the person as a non-threat, like someone close to him. He wants a connection with him.

Gaining access to a person's private areas or even getting a glimpse of it is just a superficial experience. Being able to connect to a person physically in his most private areas does not mean that one would be able to connect to the person so as to know the person.

A person's ability to know another person may have been undeveloped, disabled or suppressed by the many distractions from threats to his mind. Which is why he may feel that connecting to another person physically is the only best and fast way to get to understand and know another person.

His desperation to seek solace from his insecurities may drive himself the need to express himself fully to another person and to understand others through physical touch.

A person's undeveloped, disabled or suppressed mental ability to connect with others may be directed to physical intimacy as a sure path to achieving concern and understanding.

He would come to have sexual desires as an "outing" channel for his need to connect with people and to understand them better.

Is adopting a homosexual sexual lifestyle helpful to develop a person's ability to express himself to others and to understand them better? Or does a person just need to learn how to express himself better to others by getting in touch with his own suppressed feelings and also the feelings of other people?

Having sex with a person would not allow one to get to know well the soul of a person, but perhaps a way to get to know the physical material body better?

So is gaining access to a person's private areas and having sex the way to search for a person's soul or is it a futile and mind-less search just for the physical body?

Getting to know and understand a person is not possible through fast connections of the body. It takes time and patience to seek out a person's soul and to know it.