Why be gay?

This blog explains my views of homosexuality based strictly on a scientific and psychological perspective.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

I was harassed today by a terrorist of human rights

I really dislike writing this entry.

Today, I was at a bus stop waiting for a bus to arrive. I was standing deside a pole at the left corner of the bus stop. Then a man came up and stood at the other end of the pole. At the corner of my eye, I saw that he was staring at me from the other side of the pole. I was slightly irritated by the stare and positioned myself so that the pole would block me away from his further stares.

A few minutes went by. All the while I had this feeling that I was continually being stared at, a great uneasiness as though something bad was going to happen to me. Then as I turned my head to look around, I noticed that the man who was staring at me was now standing right at my left! And when I turned my head to look at him, he immediately turned his head to his left to avoid any eye contact.

I was totally freaked out at how he managed to sneak up close to me, and how he reacted when I turned my head to look at him. I immediately changed my position and walked to the middle of the bus stop where there were people sitting down to have more safety. Throughout my remaining waiting time, I kept an eye on him to make sure he did not try to sneek up on my position again.

The most frightening thing was that he did not get on the incoming bus, where all the buses go on the same route and end up at the Bus Interchange. Maybe he could be waiting for someone to pick him up, but why did he avoid me when I turned my head to look at him, and why did he kept on staring at me in the first place? In order for him to know when I was turning my head and to avoid my glance at the same time, he definitely had to be looking at me to be aware of which direction I was focusing on. Was his reflex a sign of mischief or guilt?

Did the man have a motive on me? It's really frightening to wonder what was going on in his mind, what he could have wanted to do to me. Whatever it was, I felt I was harassed, I felt sneaked up upon, I felt surprise, I felt disgust, I felt fear, I felt a lost of control, I felt a little depressed and I felt anger. There were so many types of emotions in me because of that incident that took place in a matter of minutes.

The man's physical characteristics are:
Chinese
Middle age
With a fat belly
Smart casual with a shirt and trousers
Spectacled
About 1.7m in height

I think I am really beginning to develop some sort of a fear of a stereotype I am conjuring in my mind. I don't know whether the man was straight or homosexual. I don't know what he is, what his motives were. Was he trying to irritate me? What was he trying to do to me?

If I would to encounter the same situation again, I would call the police and get the "terrorist" arrested for harrassment or for further investigations. I hope that would not be necessary.

I am not lying when I say I have read encounters on blogs where school-going boys were molested in the bus and MRT by men who fit my listed description of the man I encountered. The men were all middle-aged and well-dressed. Reading about molest cases was the main reason I included the topic of paedophilia in my blog. The news also mentioned of Singaporean men who went overseas to third-world countries to have sex with underaged children including boys. I think those boys were sold by their parents into prostitution. They have to do something miserable against their will for the rest of their lives. Then supposed civilised men from our country would go and torment these children.

(MP Dr Amy Khor of Hong Kah GRC, I have the utmost respect for what you have done to implement laws against paedophilia, and what you have also done in other areas, and how you stood up in parliament to bring forth your points. With people like you in parliament, Singapore would have real hope.)

I have already written that I think why middle-aged men molest young boys was because they want to reconnect with younger boys because of their desirable qualities and innocence, to express out their liking in a physical way, but in a very, very self-centered way.

Some people like homosexuals have expressed disdain for my views on homosexuality, how I discourage it and why it should not be promoted. But had these people take time from their pleasure-seeking and realised what is going on in other countries and experienced what I felt today, would they understand the way I view homosexuals?

Was what I experienced today due to the immaturity of Singapore's society? I felt a great climate of fear and disappointment for some of Singapore's citizens today, some of them are still too immature, too pleasure-seeking, too concerned with themselves with little left to care about people's existence around them, to care about other's feelings. I am considering whether I should leave this place to avoid further of such hazards in the future? Should I finally prepare for migration after receiving this last straw? Should I leave for a more suitable and mature society in another country where their people show more respect and human rights for other people?

For all the things I fear most in life, the most fear I get is from realising that there are people in society who seek things for themselves without any conscience for the people around them, not even a hint of concern, not even a trace of respect for people. These people with cold hearts are walking among us threatening the basic human rights of other people, looking for their next victims. The great fear and concern this creates in me of the other people vulnerable to such ravenous terrorists among us.

I don't know what homosexuals would feel after reading this entry, would they think that I deserve this frightening experience because of my views on this blog? Would they further insult and victimise the victim who has spoken out? Like how they brand people who expressed disdain of homosexuality as victims of abuse by homosexuals? Maybe they will gloat and feel a sense of victory I don't really care. Are they too concerned with their pleasure-seeking to feel some sympathy? I am too tired of this homosexuality issue in society. What a horrible world I have been born into. The real world is so much different from its appearances.