What does it truly mean to be gay?

This is created because many people especially youngsters do not realise what it truly means to be gay. They are always left confused with nobody to ask for guidance therefore this blog will serve to truly explain what it really means to be gay and the choice to follow this direction or not will ultimately be left to the person to decide. Please be clear that I am not promoting any sexuality, whether straight, gay or asexual, nor trying to do any sexuality conversion. My blog does not imply that if a gay person discontinues being gay, then he definitely has to choose being one of the other sexualities. There are increasingly, many intelligent and well-grounded singles in this advanced age who do not see the crucial need to require a sexual partner in their lives.

Youngsters whether they are males or females, when they have reached puberty, they are faced with dealing with bodily changes. These body changes are caused by the body's chemical reactions of hormones that often affects mental functions as well as physical functions. Therefore during puberty, one is often faced with emotional difficulties along with all the stress and problems that life brings.

I will explain very simply the confusions that some people may face in order for them to feel confusion about their bodies and their desires. And I will also explain the reasons behind these confusions.

A young boy may one day in his life begin to feel that he likes and maybe prefers to be with other boys instead of the opposite gender. He may develop attraction to some or a certain person before or during puberty.

The reason for this attraction is actually a "distraction" for the person. You may wonder what does this means. Actually in life, people do many things to keep their minds occupied. And sometimes people choose to do things or hold thoughts that are more interesting than others that are less interesting and boring.

Everyone has a hobby of great interests to keep themselves away from boredom. (Computer games, sports, hanging out with friends, movies, music are some of the many examples.)

And it is often that if a young adolescent boy develops an interest for one of his peers that reveals this act of distraction.

The young boy may think that he feels strangely attracted to another boy in his school and he feels excited whenever he is with him or sees him. He feels that he likes the boy very much and think many things about the boy. He creates mental models in his mind of scenarios where he is hanging out with him, doing things with him and feeling close with him. These are very common thoughts for many youngsters.

But do you know the real reason that these thoughts occur?

The reason is simple. These thoughts occur because they are a good distraction for the youngster. He can think about the other boy all day long without feeling bored or tired, these thoughts are a great distraction for the boy.

But you may ask, a great distraction for what?

These distractions of a boy thinking about his favorite thoughts of another boy that he likes very much are simply there to distract the mind from other less interesting thoughts. These less interesting thoughts are kept suppressed whenver he thinks about his favorite thought.

The suppressed thoughts are often unwelcomed ones. These might be problems of school, of the family, health, fears, trauma and bad memories of the past and many others that are too many to list here. Actually mankind has been facing many unwanted thoughts such as threats to one's life since he was walking on the earth. He faced many life-threatening threats from ferocious animals aound his environment.

But as early man evolved to deal with those threats, he began to outwit his predators and the threats lessened gradually. His lifestyle also changed into the modern one we experience now. But little threats are still present, they still take the form of threats like maintaining survival, threats to one's identity and threats as problems that prevent one from experiencing personal freedom. Threats are still present and people still have to deal with them whether they like it or not.

The most effective way to deal with threats is to directly remove the source but often people do not have the necessary ways or means to do that. Some ways of dealing with threats are also not legal or totally effective or efficient. So many threats have to be temporarily kept aside, in the corner of the mind, until one finds the best way to remove them.

So the boy is using his forefront most distracting and favorite thought to distract himself from his other unwelcomed threats and to keep them effectively suppressed temporarily. Remember that a distracting thought can be any other thought besides of that of a person. It can also be favorite pleasurable hobbies that many other youngsters like to do as well.

So now let's get back to the boy. The boy is going through a time in his life where his body and mind are going through many changes. And that teenage period is also the most uncertain period of one's life. So he is experiencing puberty in secondary school around secondary 2 onwards.

He thinks to himself that he likes this guy that he has a crush on. Most crushes fade away but some lasts if the attraction is very strong and is also fueled by strong physical reaction to the crush. He feels strange that he feels excited whenever he thinks about his crush. And during puberty, his bodily reaction may get tied-in to some of his thoughts such as his crush.

Sometimes after he wakes up from bed in the morning, he experiences an erection of his penis and he likes that feeling. This bodily feeling feels as great as his feelings of his favorite thoughts. He unconsciously relate his most pleasurable thought along with his favorite bodily sensation, which is his arousal. He groups this nice bodily sensation in the same group as his fantasy.

As he goes on through puberty, he gets to know about his sexual organs and its functions. He also gets to learn about them in his school science textbooks. He may then hear about masturbation and sex from some sexual health people or his friends and classmates. They may expose him to some pornographic videos and they watch about people having sexual intercourse in the videos. He gets fascinated about how after one arouses the penis enough, a flow of yellow or white liquid would eject from the penis.

This really gets his attention and arouses his curiosity very much. He may then think of trying it. And he tries masturbation.

During masturbation, he feels so distracted by all the pleasurable sensations going through his body and his mind. He can think of nothing else except pleasuring himself. All the thoughts in his mind are chosen to be of nice ones that can hold on his masturbation. Naturally or incidentally, he would choose the thoughts of his guy of interest as one of the thoughts that helps him maintain his erection.

He would think about his favorite guy as he masturbates and jerks off. He would feel that he is feeling very relaxed and comfortable and in a very safe state of mind. All his fears and problems are temporarily kept distracted and suppressed.

He would think about his favorite guy and all the things he fantasize doing with him. He may even think of masturbating with that guy in his mind or even still, touching him in his private places, and maybe even having oral or intercourse with him. These sexual thoughts may be influenced by what his friends told him or what he saw in the pornographic gay or straight sex videos. He is only curious and experimenting in his mind some of his thoughts on how they would actually feel to him if they would to happen.

The boy would continue masturbating with the pleasurable thoughts in his mind until the bodily sensations increase to a very high level that he could not hold it any more and he experiences orgasm and ejaculates. The muscle spasms of his penis and groin area during orgasm feels like the most delightful experience he has ever encountered in his life.

It is a great and nice experience to the boy and he feels that he would try it again the next time, when he feels bored or need to feel relax, away from his problems and worries. And this may become a habit in the future.

The male sexual organs would automatically clear itself of the old supply of seminal fluid or sperms about once to a few times a month, through the process of wet dreams. Seminal fluid is constantly being created and renewed in the testicles to create new sperm for procreation.

To prevent messy wet dreams, one has to masturbate about once a week or two to prevent staining one's pants or bed. But most often guys get into the habit of masturbating more often than needed when they use masturbation as a form of pleasure activity.

Going back to the question of a person being confused on whether or not he is gay. The boy may get influenced by the ideas from society and the world around him of the concept of being gay.

The gay culture's idea of being gay is the loving of another same-gender person and having sexual relations like straight people do.

But I have serious doubts on whether straight and gay people actually know the true meaning of Love. Many people define Love as a liking and great mental and physical attraction for another person, that one cannot do without the other.

To me, this definition would only come to me as the definition of Lust. That one likes another person because of a beautiful exterior and the great desire to have physical and mental contact.

This definition also come to me as using a liking and desire as a good distraction to keep one away from his own problems. This is what many people think of love as, whether it is youngsters or the adults.

To me, what Love truly means is to see the world of another person through his own eyes. This way, one would experience the world of another person. He would feel all the problems and happiness of the other person, what are the best things for him and what are not the best things for him as well. This is coincidentally what the Bible says of Love as to "love your neighbour as yourself".

Is there any other definitions of Love that can be greater than this definition? I would like to hear about it.

So the boy got confused by ideals around him and thinks that lusting for another person is equal to loving him. And he thinks that he loves guys if he has a strong physical reaction and attraction for any one of them. He would think he is gay.

But if you would read through all that I have written, you would come to understand that I feel that the definition of being gay is lust pretending as Love. And many people are uncosnciously using lust for others to keep themselves distracted from facing their problems and worries.

And this is what I think being gay actually means to me.

If any readers to this post have any comments or questions about this post or about homosexuality, please leave them in the forum created at http://whybegay.forumsplace.com

Some of the questions asked

After the first post, many people have asked me questions.

One of the more popular questions is why a guy would choose another guy instead of a girl to think about when he needs a good thought to keep him away from thinking about other things. And also why does he feel so interested and fascinated with another guy specifically rather than a girl. Is his liking controlled by a "gay gene" as another person also told me that this is the case? Is being gay determined by nature or nurture?

The reason is because the guy feels safer with the qualities of a guy instead of a girl. Sometimes humans and early man feel that things that are more similar to them pose less of a threat to changing and corrupting his identity, so there's a larger possibility that its a friend and not foe.

He also feels really fascinated with another guy rather than a girl because he sees another similar gender person that he can more easily read and understand rather than another gender that feels foreign to him. And things that are more familiar to him would have similar characteristics that allows him to decipher its qualities more readily, which could be why he reads and absorbs the same gender person's interesting qualities easier than of that of another opposite gender that is less familiar and qualities less easily readible. So I don't think this is the work of a "gay gene", whether it actually exists or not.

So there are many points to consider,
1. Another same gender guy tells his mind that the other guy is a "safer" person than the girl because of a greater similarity of characteristics.
2. This allows him to open up and decipher the guy's qualities more readily.
3. The similar characteristics of another same gender person allows him to read and decipher his qualities easier and more efficiently.
4. The amount of interesting qualities deciphered of the other guy makes him seem to feel that guys are more interesting and "safer" than girls, which is actually a normal feeling. Of course guys feel more comfortable with guys which is why guys often have guys to hang out more often with instead of girls.
5. Remember that a person would more often discriminate between the safe qualities and threat qualities of different people if he has already been greatly exposed to threats that have harmed his identity before and he feels the need to protect himself from such threats. Which is why he feels the importance and need to be with people that are "safe" to him.

People who become gays because of gays

Some readers have felt that I have left some topics out due to their own personal experiences.

One of the questions asked is, what about the guys who were "physically disturbed" by other guys when they were younger and then later turned gay?

As told to me, a person who was "physically disturbed" when he was younger would feel traumatised by the experience. Then later on, he would develop a mild kind of phobia whenever he gets into "close contact" with other guys because of a barrier already set up by the mind to fend against people in close contact situations that would remind him of his bad experience.

He might distant himself from doing close-contact physical sports that places him in high vulnerability, which makes him develop an isolation from people. He might even get biased and develop a kind of hatred for guys that reminds him of his own bad memories because of this grouping in his mind.

And a while after this, he might develop an intense liking for guys and lead him to think that he is gay.

The question is, why did the guy initially develop a phobia for guys and yet after a short while, also develop an intense liking for guys while still feeling affected by the trauma in his mind which is also caused by the same gender?

The reason I can think of that supports this "paradox" is because the guy is subconsciously using a source of great interest to try to block out and overcome the bad memories in his mind. There was this part in his inner mind where he felt private and open with himself, until this area in his mind was seriously disturbed by the person who gave him the bad experience.

So this private, safe area in his mind was "intruded" by a frightening "stranger". This area in his mind is where all his bad memories come from that often reminds him of his trauma.

But the mind habitually uses a source of great interest to distract other unwanted memories. This is a form of self-preservation of the mind. The guy comes across a source of great interests in the form of other guys that he meets. The great interests in these guys eventually led him to choose them as a form of distraction to overcome the traumatic experiences in his mind.

But the problem is that the bad memories are too strongly etched in his mind and seems to stay on. Therefore he subconsciously tries to heighten the level of interest from the guys that he likes, in order to compete and overthrow the other unwanted memories.

This intense conflict and fight between this two sides is what causing the paradox and frustrating mood-swings encountered.

I would say that this method of using a source of great interest to block and suppressed bad memories in the mind will not eventually work. There is no point running away from a fire that started burning up in the mind, the only way to remove the fire is to extinguish it. Because people are so afraid of terrifying things in life, they simply run away without putting them out. So the fire will remain burning and spread itself, until one day, the person has no where else to run and would have to face what he is initially running and hiding away from.

The first step to putting out such fires is to stop feeling so afraid of them but stop and face them. I don't know when a person would stop running from the fires in his mind. It might take a long time but I can give assurance that once a person stops running and turn and face his fears, by then, it would show that his courage is already standing unaffected against the fire, and it is definite that in no time, the fire will surely cease to burn very soon. And the person would have truly demonstrated to himself that he has overcome.

Why does a person feel horny?

Why does a person feel horny? And why does he lose this interest and then develops it again?

These are questions posed to me.

The feeling of being aroused and feeling horny has very much to do with body chemistry. Similarly to the fact that certain medicines and drugs can change the body chemistry and strongly affect mental judgment.

One of the initial causes of feeling aroused and horny is the changing sodium chloride to water ratio in the brain and body. The brain is the first organ in the body to get dehyrated whenever the fluid levels run low. This will immediately cause the water ratio to lower against the sodium chloride ratio in the mind.

People who are fluent in Chemistry or Biology would be aware that Osmosis plays an important part in the brain and body. Such an example is the imbalance of sodium and potassium ions inside and outside the brain cells that leads to automatic balancing. When the electrical charge of the ions in the cell is imbalance, the correction of this by the ions will lead to the firing of the neuro-transmitters to send information from one part of the brain to another.

When the body and brain is dehydrated of water, the brain contracts. Most often there is a salty taste on the tongue of a dry mouth.

Dehydration would cause the person to feel emotionally erratic at times due to heightened neural impulses in the brain and body.

During early times when man was still very primal, the brain is contracted and the thinking mind would be led to the primal parts of the brain to be reminded of a primal need to find water to relieve the thirst. But in modern times, sometimes when man is reminded of this primal need to sustain himself by the sensations of a dry mouth, he has many things to do and he is often distracted by his other work. So he waits a long while later to drink water because he knows that he can get water when he wants to and has no need to fear for his life.

The contraction of the brain also leads the thinking mind to access other innermost thoughts. Remember that during body dehydration, the body and brain contracts and sensory stimuli travels faster and more intensely, due to a greater electrical conductivity when the sodium chloride level in the body rises.

During these times, brain and body stimulus are heightened. Early on in life, the person might have linked his favorite thoughts to such heightened body and mental states. An example is what the boy in the first blog post could have done when he felt he was in a heightened sensory state of body and mind, and he linked his favorite thought of his crush to his intense body sensations.

So whenever the body and brain experiences dehydration, the mind contracts and retreats to a more primal place in the brain, where the mind is lead to his favorite sensory thoughts. If these are sexual thoughts, he would feel "horny". If these are worrying thoughts, he would feel afraid. An example od a person being dehydrated and has a work deadline to meet, his dehydration would intensify his worrying feelings and cause him to feel fear of not meeting his deadline.

So dehydration does not necessarily leads to a person feeling horny every single time. His present situation would dictate whether it is permissible or suitable for whatever thoughts he allows into his mind, to feel horny because he is thinking sexual thoughts, or to feel worry because he is thinking of his work deadline.

Of course the person has for a long time, developed the habit of putting off the search of water to drink because of all his usual distracting thoughts that is going on in his mind.

The person might choose masturbation to relieve the intensified sexual feelings in his mind. And when he ejaculates and experiences orgasm, the brain and body is filled with a burst of middle to high intensity neural electrical impulses along with a chemical that gives the brain and body a relaxing feeling. This burst of neural electrical impulses is a lower intensity form of the sensations of pain, which is very high intensity. So as to say, the brain emits a burst of high intensity "pain" to bombard and replace the low intensity horny sensations in the brain and body.

It is similar to removing a low intensity sensations of an itch with a mid or high intensity sensations of a scratch, which brings just about the right amount of pain to neutralise the itch. During masturbation, the low intensity sensations in the brain and body elevates to mid and then when it reaches to high, the threshold for the neural sensation level that the body can tolerate is reached, and the neural electrical sensations are discharged by the high intensity sensations experienced during orgasm. If the body does not do this quickly, the brain and body nerves would later be too stimulated by the neural impulses and would face critical damage.

This failsafe has the same function as the ground breaker built in electrical fuses. It protects the fragile electronic equipment from high voltages that can damage the circuits and render it unusable.

These high intensity neural sensations with the feelings of tiredness "short-circuits" and terminate the horny thoughts in his mind, which is why he feels a lost of sexual interest right after he ejaculates.

By now he should be reminded of the need to drink water, and any further delay would badly dehydrate and damage the brain and body.

A person might choose to feel horny whenever he gets dehydrated, he chooses to use horny thoughts to overwrite the thoughts to replenish his body fluids, and resolves the sexual thoughts by ejaculation. Until next time when he gets dehydrated again, the whole process repeats itself.

But remember that every person's brain and body is different and may not dehydrate in a similar capacity. Most people also do not replace the urge to drink water with sexual thoughts, therefore not everybody would feel "horny" whenever they feel thirsty.

There are people who eat foods such as aphrodisiacs that causes the body to dehydrate in order to increase their sexual feelings. Such examples are foods that contain diuretics that leeches water from the body like coffee, chocolate and wine. Seafood with high sodium content that causes dehydration. Also foods that contain Monosodium-glutamate, of which Glutamate is a neural transmitter than affects brain functions.

There are also some people who choose to use sex drugs to facilitate this dehydration in the mind. Whicever way one chooses to dehydrate themselves, serious dehydration is a cause of irreversible brain damage that dulls mental functions.

Therefore the choice to feel horny or not is still very much a personal choice.

It is important to take the recommended number of glasses of water a day to keep the body's functions at normal operation. It is also important to remove the sodium chloride from the tongue by brushing it, to not do so is similar to constantly bombard the taste buds, just as one constantly listens to music or sees bright lights. Remember that the constant sensations from the taste buds of trapped sodium chloride to the brain is a very great distraction to the mind as well. So remember to give the taste buds and the mind a rest.

Using "pain" to get to comfort

I want to highlight what I added in the previous post about what happens during orgasm, and why a person stops feeling "horny" and loses sexual interest right after ejaculation.

The person might choose masturbation to relieve the intensified sexual feelings in his mind. And when he ejaculates and experiences orgasm, the brain and body is filled with a burst of middle to high intensity neural electrical impulses along with a chemical that gives the brain and body a relaxing feeling. This burst of neural electrical impulses is a lower intensity form of the sensations of pain, which is very high intensity. So as to say, the brain emits a burst of mid to high intensity "pain" to bombard and replace the low intensity horny sensations in the brain and body.

It is similar to removing a low intensity sensations of an itch with a mid or high intensity sensations of a scratch, which brings just about the right amount of pain to neutralise the itch.

During masturbation, the low intensity sensations in the brain and body elevates to mid and then when it reaches to high, the threshold for the neural sensation level that the body can tolerate is reached, and the neural electrical sensations are discharged by the high intensity sensations experienced during orgasm. If the body does not do this, the brain and body nerves would later be too stimulated by the increasing level of neural intensity and might face damage in the long term.

If the failsafe does not activate, neural intensity would heighten until the person would faint and lose consciousness because of an over-stimulation of his brain.

This failsafe has the same function as the ground breaker built in electrical fuses. It protects the fragile electronic equipment from high voltages that can damage the circuits and render it unusable.

These high intensity neural sensations "short-circuits" and terminate the horny thoughts in his mind, causing tiredness or sleepiness and is why he feels a lost of sexual interest right after he ejaculates.

Note that some people have developed an unnatural higher threshold for the sensations of "pain", due to prolonged exposure and getting used to it, which is why they require a higher neural intensity which is "pain" for pleasure.

It is obvious that people who uses neural sensations for pleasure often use it in sequential higher levels. They first experience an unwanted sensation such as boredom or bad memories, and then they step up and replace the sensations with a higher neural sensation of sexual interest by being horny, and then they step up the sensations again with the high intensity sensations of orgasm until the neural intensity threshold is reached and the failsafe activates and ends the whole process.

Also note that there were reports that people undergoing the death sentence in the electric chair would often ejaculate along with the expulsions of other body fluids and then lose consciousness because of an over-stimulation of very high intensity pain and fear that activates all the failsafes in his mind to terminate and block out the sensations to his conscious.

Asian teens are not growing up fast enough

More Singaporeans die from suicide than from accidents
By Pearl Forss, Channel NewsAsia

SINGAPORE : More Singaporeans die committing suicide than from traffic accidents.

This is according to statistics revealed at the 2nd Asia Pacific Suicide Prevention Conference which bring together experts from around the region.

An average of one Singaporean dies from committing suicide every day.

Even then, Singapore's suicide rates are one of the lowest in Asia.

But what is getting authorities worried is a rising trend of youths committing suicide.

Suicide rates among the elderly, on the other hand, have dropped significantly.

Dr Chia Boon Hock, Psychologist and Suicide Researcher, said: "The older people now are much better off. They have their HDB flats, CPF, they are married, not single, previously you had a old cohort where the elderly are single immigrants. For young suicide.. the level is steady, it is high."

Suicide is the second main cause of death among girls under 20 and the third among boys of that age.

Studies show that women are more likely to attempt suicide then men and in Singapore, most of the female teenagers who kill themselves do so because of relationship problems as well as study stress.

At the same time, psychologists also say that those who are single and unemployed are more likely to attempt suicide.

Between the year 2000 and 2004, the number of unemployed males killing themselves were 17 times higher than their employed counterparts.

The Health Ministry says what is important is that front-line staff like family doctors know how to identify signs that someone has suicidal tendencies.

Dr Alex Su, Head of Emergency Services at the Institute of Mental Health, said: "In Singapore, more than 50 percent of the people, if they were to end their lives, they would have left some form of message before that but unfortunately these messages were being ignored or not taken seriously.

"They may have made some arrangements to give away things that they had, or made some arrangements, as in after their death who will get what things, sometimes they may even release their pets.

"More importantly, they will leave some kind of suicide notes and these are very important things to note and should be taken seriously."

The Institute of Mental Health is currently running courses for family doctors to help them manage mental and suicidal conditions.

But psychologists say what is needed is a national suicide prevention strategy.

Dr Su said: "Depression is very treatable, you do not have to wait until depression evolves into a severe state, and all things around you have fallen apart, leading up to suicide.

Singapore has also launched a new website offering information and support from qualified professions for people who are depressed.

http://www.DepNet.sg is a way for people to discreetly seek help and advice for their problems. - CNA/de


I have a theory of why asian teens are more likely to kill themselves is because of their delayed maturity. Teens in asia do not grow up and see the world quickly enough than their western counterparts but are always kept pampered and overly sheltered by their well-to-do parents and their overly-abused sense of stability in their wealthy countries that brings about indifference to matters that they feel are only on a need-to-know basis.

Asian teens are too caught up and imprisoned with their obsolete old-fashion education system that overly focuses on textbook memorisations, that fails to help them develop a good thinking spirit.

Teens in asia also overly indulge themselves too much on the rich material lifestyle, in fashion, food and over-usage of technology for minor day-to-day operations.

They focus too much on small talk and gossips and fail to realise of the bigger, more relevant and crucial world outside their limited scope. But we always hear them complaining about boredom. They are too busy copying and keeping up to what other teens and immatue adults are doing, following branded fashion, latest handphone technology, music concerts, nice places to dine and dress style, along with many of the fashionable teen lifestyle concepts, being a total slave to consumerism. They are overly indulging in past-time activities that becomes a large part of their full-time activities.

The things that most asian teens talk about revolves mainly around their family, their friends, school and local interests even though some of them do travel around alot. But their focus and field of scope is still very much limited to a few topic areas.

Therefore teens would not have much preparations to discuss, learn and gain experience in the real adult world but are kept extendedly in childhood mode even when they are about to leave teenhood. Therefore many of them are not sufficiently equipped with a good adaptive system of thought to deal with many of adult life's sudden and stressful predicaments.

They prematurely introduce themselves to complicated matters of adulthood such as engaging in adult relationships yet many of them fail to adapt properly to maintain and deal with the problems that come with them. One of their ways to resolve their adult problems would then be to commit suicide, their easy way out.

Asian teens should stop playing around and start growing up, otherwise they will not be able survive mentally in the future generation.

The "gay gene" (non)argument

There are people who uses statistical reports from the US of identical gay twins to justify the existence of gay genes.

But I am also familiar of research reports from the US which are funded by corporations and private agencies which have their own agendas to fulfilled in the first place by sponsoring those "research reports" and later use the "statistics" to sway public opinion.

People can see whatever they want in clouds, sometimes statistic figures are just arbitrary numbers that have different value and meaning to whoever sees them.

There are people who imply that "gay genes" causes the larger brain cavity in gay people which is observed by fMRI(functional magnetic resonance imaging scans).

But there are also fMRI scans of London cab drivers who have larger hippocampus than people who are not cab drivers. Their enhanced hippocampus is caused by daily usage of their brain mapping system to navigate through the very complex and tricky London street network.

Every neurologist knows the fact that the brain is "plastic", the neural pathways in the brain are not fixed and can change over time.

So by this example, the argument that genes alone can determine the final brain neural network design does not hold much ground.

By saying that there is a very, very specific gay gene which function is to discriminate between the gender is similar to saying that there is also an Oreo cookie gene that causes one to like Oreo cookies. Then a person would also like japanese sweets and sushi. So are there such specific gene functions that would cause a group of people living in Mexico to develop a culture that also likes japanese sweets and sushi? But we don't observe such occurences do we?

There are so numerous objects that a person would prefer in his life, is it anyway possible for a gene to store all of this preferences?

My work has stated that it is way more possible for a gene to encode the preference of objects that poses the least threat to a person's identity, rather than the preference of japanese sweets or Oreo cookies.

I would not be able to imagine one day when scientists make headlines by announcing that they have found the preference for the "Nabisco brand Oreo cookies that sells for $2 a box" gene in the chromosome.

The environment is the main factor that influences brain development and intelligence. My first blog post mentioned that the boy developed a liking for another similar gender person because he needed a non-threatening figure as a distracting comfort.

A person would become gay because of the circumstances of a present life. The brain is very plastic and it will adapt itself for whatever ways of self-preservation to the identity of a person whenever necessary. Even intelligence is not fixed by genes, the brain has to be developed by a rich and stimulating environment in order to develop a complex neural network that gives the mind a good priming ability for intelligence. Second-hand smoke has been proven to affect the fetal development and dull mental function of young children, which affects the development of the neural network that affects brain functions that determines the environmental adaptability of the mind.

I would believe in brain plasticity rather than the vague hypothesis of "gay genes". Referring to the contents of my first and second blog posts, I strongly believe that it is the needs and circumstances of a person in his present life which determines gay behaviour, rather than some vague latent functions of some mysterious recursive or non-recursive "gay genes" brought forth by his ancestors.

Hypothetically, I would rather believe in the malfunctions of mental or body functions that causes one to be gay, rather than Intelligent Design taking huge time and effort in order to create a specialized gene to cater to a very specific function of gender preference, while ignoring the preserving and creation of other more crucial genome functions. Discriminating between the degrees of threats would more likely fit the efficient and intelligent bill of Intelligent Design.

Is this a case of extreme blame-shifting of gay activists gone dysfunctionally awry?

There are many people in this world who would rather hold on to their own greedy selfish ego and continue to practise finger-pointing blame-shifting to remain blind and helpless rather than realise their own stubborness to see the bigger picture to grow up and adapt. Sometimes guts is the one missing ingredient.

So remember the next time someone claims of "gay genes", tell them that the "preference" for the "Nabisco brand Oreo cookies that sells for $2 a box" gene also exists. If that is not enough to impress them, further do so by declaring that the "preference" for the "Nabisco brand Oreo cookies that sells for $2 a box" gene in your body has been overtaken and evolved to the "preference" for the "Nabisco brand Oreo cookies that sells for only $1.50 a box" CONSUMERISM gene.

(Warning! Do not buy the Oreo cookies in Singapore which contain partially hydrogenated oils. These are transfats that can cause heart disease and stroke and even dying in sleep.)

Why do people have sex?

Many people do it but they usually don't even know the reasons why they do it in the first place.

The function of sexual intercourse has changed and taken on other meanings, it has moved from procreation in the early days to other functions in modern times.

People do it not only because they want to conceive babies but because they seek it as a source of "enjoyment", "hobby", "past-time" because they have found nothing else that is more "exciting" and "fulfilling" to them.

The reason why people play with their and along with other people's sexual organs is actually not very obvious.

Nobody likes foreign body smells nor the foul taste of body fluids on their own, but these are over-shadowed by the sensations of comfort.

The motives of sex is actually based on the needs of primal man. In the early days of prehistoric man, he was facing constant threats from his environment to his physical and mental survival. And the only source of comfort was mainly from the other humans around him.

The females were actually the gender who needed comfort of security more than men did and they were the ones who firstly initiated sex. They needed a source of sexual comfort more than the males did. They offered themselves willingly as a source of comfort to the males who also needed sexual comfort and were willing to provide sexual comfort for the females. This was the beginning of male and female sexual relations many eons ago.

Male to male sexual relations were not frequent because the females were crowding around every strong male around the tribe, who exhibits a strong sense of security. Every male had a crowd of females for his sexual comfort.

Males were physically and mentally strong in prehistoric times, he was a providing of comfort and security to the tribe rather than a seeker as the females were. Therefore he saw no need to seek comfort from sex from other males in the tribe.

As time progress from the prehistoric to the modern. Threats from the environment lessened and men have less opportunities to learn how to deal with threats that had made him a physically and mentally strong individual eons ago. He became the "Sensitive New Age Guy" (SNAG).

This Sensitive New Age Guy is less proficient in dealing with mental and physical threats from modern times, because he does not have much training in this area, due to lack of opportunities. He became mentally and physically weak and often needed much help from other people.

Many modern men thus feel threatened easily from modern threats that harm his identity. Thus, he has moved into the position of females who also sees males as a source of comfort and security. Therefore homosexual men and straight women both seek men as a source and provider to ease their fears and insecurities. Just as the boy who underwent puberty discovered males as this source of sexual comfort, Homosexuals and females do the same.

Sex gives one the opportunity to be most vulnerable to another person. And a person would only allow this if he feels that the other person is not a threat but very "safe" so as to allow this "exchange" of comfort.

People need to occasionally let go of threat thoughts in the mind and rest in safety and comfort. Some people choose the widely publicised concept of sex to seek comfort from threats while others choose hobbies or other relaxing past times.

People who have sex do not usually care about the body smells or tastes of other people as they are usually distracted by the sense of safety and security during such moments.

People do Sex not only for the neural excitement but also as a temporary haven away from daily worrying thoughts and fears. Such as the example of the boy in the first post. Another well-known example would be the soldiers who seek Comfort Women and prostitutes during the previous two world wars. Their daily activities were so full of threats that they required sources for their threat "relief".

Seeking comfort is the main reason why people have the needs for sex. But also remember that they are many other ways to seek comfort rather than from sex alone. Not everyone is obliged to have sex just to prove that they are "cool" or normal. Infact people who have sex to seek comfort only display their lack of abilities to effectively deal and adapt to their threats.

Many youth these days wear abstinence bands to show that they do not require sex. Many others also pledge not to have sex before marriage. These are often strong individuals who are able to effectively deal with their threats with other ways rather than just from sex. They also do not succumb to peer pressure nor care about what other people think of them because they truly know that they are doing the right thing and there is nothing to be ashamed of.

Some people need sex but some others do not require it. Sex is based on a conceptual "need" influenced by its wide social publicity and mis-influence rather than as an in-built basic human desire after all.