What does it truly mean to be gay?

This is created because many people especially youngsters do not realise what it truly means to be gay. They are always left confused with nobody to ask for guidance therefore this blog will serve to truly explain what it really means to be gay and the choice to follow this direction or not will ultimately be left to the person to decide. Please be clear that I am not promoting any sexuality, whether straight, gay or asexual, nor trying to do any sexuality conversion. My blog does not imply that if a gay person discontinues being gay, then he definitely has to choose being one of the other sexualities. There are increasingly, many intelligent and well-grounded singles in this advanced age who do not see the crucial need to require a sexual partner in their lives.

Youngsters whether they are males or females, when they have reached puberty, they are faced with dealing with bodily changes. These body changes are caused by the body's chemical reactions of hormones that often affects mental functions as well as physical functions. Therefore during puberty, one is often faced with emotional difficulties along with all the stress and problems that life brings.

I will explain very simply the confusions that some people may face in order for them to feel confusion about their bodies and their desires. And I will also explain the reasons behind these confusions.

A young boy may one day in his life begin to feel that he likes and maybe prefers to be with other boys instead of the opposite gender. He may develop attraction to some or a certain person before or during puberty.

The reason for this attraction is actually a "distraction" for the person. You may wonder what does this means. Actually in life, people do many things to keep their minds occupied. And sometimes people choose to do things or hold thoughts that are more interesting than others that are less interesting and boring.

Everyone has a hobby of great interests to keep themselves away from boredom. (Computer games, sports, hanging out with friends, movies, music are some of the many examples.)

And it is often that if a young adolescent boy develops an interest for one of his peers that reveals this act of distraction.

The young boy may think that he feels strangely attracted to another boy in his school and he feels excited whenever he is with him or sees him. He feels that he likes the boy very much and think many things about the boy. He creates mental models in his mind of scenarios where he is hanging out with him, doing things with him and feeling close with him. These are very common thoughts for many youngsters.

But do you know the real reason that these thoughts occur?

The reason is simple. These thoughts occur because they are a good distraction for the youngster. He can think about the other boy all day long without feeling bored or tired, these thoughts are a great distraction for the boy.

But you may ask, a great distraction for what?

These distractions of a boy thinking about his favorite thoughts of another boy that he likes very much are simply there to distract the mind from other less interesting thoughts. These less interesting thoughts are kept suppressed whenver he thinks about his favorite thought.

The suppressed thoughts are often unwelcomed ones. These might be problems of school, of the family, health, fears, trauma and bad memories of the past and many others that are too many to list here. Actually mankind has been facing many unwanted thoughts such as threats to one's life since he was walking on the earth. He faced many life-threatening threats from ferocious animals aound his environment.

But as early man evolved to deal with those threats, he began to outwit his predators and the threats lessened gradually. His lifestyle also changed into the modern one we experience now. But little threats are still present, they still take the form of threats like maintaining survival, threats to one's identity and threats as problems that prevent one from experiencing personal freedom. Threats are still present and people still have to deal with them whether they like it or not.

The most effective way to deal with threats is to directly remove the source but often people do not have the necessary ways or means to do that. Some ways of dealing with threats are also not legal or totally effective or efficient. So many threats have to be temporarily kept aside, in the corner of the mind, until one finds the best way to remove them.

So the boy is using his forefront most distracting and favorite thought to distract himself from his other unwelcomed threats and to keep them effectively suppressed temporarily. Remember that a distracting thought can be any other thought besides of that of a person. It can also be favorite pleasurable hobbies that many other youngsters like to do as well.

So now let's get back to the boy. The boy is going through a time in his life where his body and mind are going through many changes. And that teenage period is also the most uncertain period of one's life. So he is experiencing puberty in secondary school around secondary 2 onwards.

He thinks to himself that he likes this guy that he has a crush on. Most crushes fade away but some lasts if the attraction is very strong and is also fueled by strong physical reaction to the crush. He feels strange that he feels excited whenever he thinks about his crush. And during puberty, his bodily reaction may get tied-in to some of his thoughts such as his crush.

Sometimes after he wakes up from bed in the morning, he experiences an erection of his penis and he likes that feeling. This bodily feeling feels as great as his feelings of his favorite thoughts. He unconsciously relate his most pleasurable thought along with his favorite bodily sensation, which is his arousal. He groups this nice bodily sensation in the same group as his fantasy.

As he goes on through puberty, he gets to know about his sexual organs and its functions. He also gets to learn about them in his school science textbooks. He may then hear about masturbation and sex from some sexual health people or his friends and classmates. They may expose him to some pornographic videos and they watch about people having sexual intercourse in the videos. He gets fascinated about how after one arouses the penis enough, a flow of yellow or white liquid would eject from the penis.

This really gets his attention and arouses his curiosity very much. He may then think of trying it. And he tries masturbation.

During masturbation, he feels so distracted by all the pleasurable sensations going through his body and his mind. He can think of nothing else except pleasuring himself. All the thoughts in his mind are chosen to be of nice ones that can hold on his masturbation. Naturally or incidentally, he would choose the thoughts of his guy of interest as one of the thoughts that helps him maintain his erection.

He would think about his favorite guy as he masturbates and jerks off. He would feel that he is feeling very relaxed and comfortable and in a very safe state of mind. All his fears and problems are temporarily kept distracted and suppressed.

He would think about his favorite guy and all the things he fantasize doing with him. He may even think of masturbating with that guy in his mind or even still, touching him in his private places, and maybe even having oral or intercourse with him. These sexual thoughts may be influenced by what his friends told him or what he saw in the pornographic gay or straight sex videos. He is only curious and experimenting in his mind some of his thoughts on how they would actually feel to him if they would to happen.

The boy would continue masturbating with the pleasurable thoughts in his mind until the bodily sensations increase to a very high level that he could not hold it any more and he experiences orgasm and ejaculates. The muscle spasms of his penis and groin area during orgasm feels like the most delightful experience he has ever encountered in his life.

It is a great and nice experience to the boy and he feels that he would try it again the next time, when he feels bored or need to feel relax, away from his problems and worries. And this may become a habit in the future.

The male sexual organs would automatically clear itself of the old supply of seminal fluid or sperms about once to a few times a month, through the process of wet dreams. Seminal fluid is constantly being created and renewed in the testicles to create new sperm for procreation.

To prevent messy wet dreams, one has to masturbate about once a week or two to prevent staining one's pants or bed. But most often guys get into the habit of masturbating more often than needed when they use masturbation as a form of pleasure activity.

Going back to the question of a person being confused on whether or not he is gay. The boy may get influenced by the ideas from society and the world around him of the concept of being gay.

The gay culture's idea of being gay is the loving of another same-gender person and having sexual relations like straight people do.

But I have serious doubts on whether straight and gay people actually know the true meaning of Love. Many people define Love as a liking and great mental and physical attraction for another person, that one cannot do without the other.

To me, this definition would only come to me as the definition of Lust. That one likes another person because of a beautiful exterior and the great desire to have physical and mental contact.

This definition also come to me as using a liking and desire as a good distraction to keep one away from his own problems. This is what many people think of love as, whether it is youngsters or the adults.

To me, what Love truly means is to see the world of another person through his own eyes. This way, one would experience the world of another person. He would feel all the problems and happiness of the other person, what are the best things for him and what are not the best things for him as well. This is coincidentally what the Bible says of Love as to "love your neighbour as yourself".

Is there any other definitions of Love that can be greater than this definition? I would like to hear about it.

So the boy got confused by ideals around him and thinks that lusting for another person is equal to loving him. And he thinks that he loves guys if he has a strong physical reaction and attraction for any one of them. He would think he is gay.

But if you would read through all that I have written, you would come to understand that I feel that the definition of being gay is lust pretending as Love. And many people are uncosnciously using lust for others to keep themselves distracted from facing their problems and worries.

And this is what I think being gay actually means to me.

If any readers to this post have any comments or questions about this post or about homosexuality, please leave them in the forum created at http://whybegay.forumsplace.com